Helen Sjöholm

Nej du måste finnas, du måste.

Jag lever mitt liv genom dig.

Utan dig är jag en spillra på ett mörkt och stormigt hav.

Du måste finnas, du måste, hur kan du då överge mig?

Jag vore ingenstans, jag vore ingenting.

Om du inte fanns

You have to be there you have to

I'm living my life through you

Without you I am shattered on a dark and stormy sea

You have to be there you have to, how can you abandon me then?

I would be nowhere, I would be no one

If u don't exsist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2idVI73ais&feature=related

Its the end of the world, and you've come back to me, in my dreams

Am gonna get so much better on writing here now. Have been without a computer for like a month at least. Have left Australia and am back in Sweden. Its horrible. I'm sorry but it's not even worth putting on a brave face, I absolutely hate it. And I hate being here when you're there.

How can you not feel empty inside when looking at pictures like the one above, knowing that - I was there just a couple of weeks ago, in a country that have come so close to my heart. That can just stun you, make you stop and sit down in the middle of nowhere cause its just so beautiful you would feel ashamed for not giving it all the attention possible.

Well well. Got a snoring dog at my feet now at least, thats nice. And a family for the first time in a year. Promise to try to cheer up evetually, just gonna dwell in my misery a wee while.

Kate Miller-Heidke - The Last Day On Earth

Leaving Brissy

Perth, Perth, Perth! and hmm, PERTH! jippi ooooooo!

Maria Mena

Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And comfortable as you are
You count the days

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if I like rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
still care

You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if I like rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care

Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care

I like you so much better when you're naked

Dress up: Freya = Queen of hearts, Theo = some kind of army typ man action figure, Brett = the sock monster, Sascha = Queen of diamonds, Klara = Queen of spades, Cory = Tin Tin, Ville = I have no idea....

We've found our prince charming ;)

Lily lily, u make my day

Alright so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone.
You're just doing your own thing and some one comes out the blue,
They're like,
"Alright"
He's saying,
"Yeah can I take your digits?"
And you're like, "no not in a million years, you're nasty
please leave me alone."
Cut to the pub on a lads night out,
Man at the bar cos it was his shout,
Clocks this bird and she looks ok,
Caught him looking and she walks his way,
"alright darlin, you gonna buy us a drink then?"
"err no, but I was thinking of buying one for your friend..."
She's got no taste hand on his waste, tries to pull away but her lips on his face,
"if you insist I'll have a white wine spritzer"
"sorry love, but you ain't a pretty picture."
Chorus
Can't knock em out, can't walk away,
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say,
Just get out my face, just leave me alone,
And no you cant have me number,
"why?"
Because I've lost my phone.
Oh yeah, actually yeah I'm pregnant, having a baby in like 6 months so no, and yeah, yeah...
"I recognise this guy..."
That's what she's thinking,
As he comes over her heart starts sinking,
She's like,
"oh here we go.."
It's a routine check that she already knows, she's thinking they're all the same.
"yeah you alright baby? You look alright still, yeah what's your name?"
She looks in her bag, takes out a fag, tries to get away from the guy on a blag, can't find a light,
"use mine"
"you see the thing is I really don't have the time."
Chorus
Go away now, let me go,
Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?
Go away now I've made myself clear,
Nah it's not gonna happen,
Not in a a million years,
Chorus
nah I've gotta go cos my house is on fire,
I've got herpes, err no I've got syphilis...

Fruity Lexia Makes It Sexier

Short days and long nights in Brisbane. BBQs, vodka and goone, a french tiny girl with aggressive manners, a shy brittish Freya with the coolest London accent I've ever heard. A none existing boy that doesn't deserve a phone call and a nice friendly kiwi with a computer :)

Just wanna dance, dance, dance today and never stop to think

summer dreams ripped at the seams

Someone's kicked himself down from his pedestal and thank God for that. Hate that it disappoints me to see the true you and the quick but certain thought that ran through my mind: "oh, now I remember, this is what you were like.. Oh yeah, this is why I left the last time."

But hey, life's about choices and the people you meet on your way.

Summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh those summer nights

Knock Em Out

I am not your rolling wheels

I am the highway

I am not your carpet ride

I am the sky

When do we stop believing in true love? Is it at the same time as we stop believing in trolls and fairies? Is it the first time you get your heart broken? The first time you get cheated on? Is it you come to the realisation that men and women are completely different spiecies? Is it catching him/her looking on someone else with the look you felt was reserved for you?

Is it when you realise that you're just thouroughly and genuinly fed up with being made felt useless and powerless in a relationship on someone elses terms?

Oh to be a child again, I miss believing in love, I miss trolls and fairies.

I have a dream,

a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

Well whenever not the perkiest me, there's one thing that helps ;) some twilight! There's no way you can not love this movie. With the coolest baseball scene on earth.
And if still not happy, whack some Lily Allen on, preferrebly - Knock Em Out, always makes me crack up :)

Don't wanna look ahead but am scared to death to get stuck here

It was raining in Brisbane today! Crazy that its so unusual with rain that you actually get a bit excited about it. One of the smells of today: Wet asphalt, damp air
Days consists of telesales with the coolest workmates, nights of work at Cosmo's Coffee with crazy chinese men hitting on me infront of their kids (+chocolate mousse with marshmallows, as many lattes as I want, and endless amounts of food).

Second smell of the day: Random-guy-in-the-seven-eleven-shop's shampoo, caught me completely of guard!

Jag vill ha dig nu, som jag hade dig forut

Guess I better go and get my armor

Life's great. Brisbane is so beautiful, the quiet of a big city (sounds weird but its true), the amazing walks, the extraordinairy people, the lack of money (LOL).


What to do in Brissy:


1. Favorite walk: Start at the bridge going from the Valley to Kangaroo Point, take the first possible stairs down to the water on your right, walk along the water and continue all the way to Goodwill Bridge, walk over and in to botanical gardens (in my opinion the best botanical gardens in Australia), keep going all the way up Edward st up to Central Station, turn right and in a sec your back in the Valley again.


2. Favorite dozing spot: Sofa in my apartment! or go hang out by the lagoon on south bank or why not stroll around in the museum.


3. Get shitfaced with friends and go dancing all night, waking up the morning after regretting everything and start on no 1 again :)


Hey I had so much stuff I wanted to write here but all of a sudden its all gone. My head's not with me. It's gone but in a weird way its here anyway cause I am making more sense than usual. I would throw my whole brain out here if I knew that it would make it stop buzzing. But it wouldn't that's for sure.
I am one of those who wake up two hours too early, tired as hell, but can't go back to sleep cause I'm thinking too much.
And I know I'm being silly, but this is my reality now. I know that this is not gonna matter when I go on and make something of my life but its real to me now.
Hey I need some distraction, where's my distraction? Kiwi blankets can soothe in alot of ways, and kindness in all possible ways.

Kill 'em with love, just kill 'em with love

I'm your pusher

Theme song of Sydney:

Henok Achido and Sophia Somajo - Pusher

I adore Sydney. Am gonna live here eventually for some period of time. I love the bridge, without the bridge the operahouse would look silly. The two together are almost magical though.

Lee-Annes birthday tonight, will be some celebrations of some kind when she a Sophie get here (went out on the piss and missed the plane the drunken friends of mine lol). Am gonna wear new tank top with roses on and am excited about it. Was a while ago I actually got excited about new clothes but you learn alot when having no money for a period of time!

Going to Brisbane soon, approx. 4 days left, will be such a weird feeling to be travelling on my own again, will be fun though, am positive about it all. As Lisa said: "hmmm there must be something more than the city to get you to go back there, there must be a man involved!" Well well Klara sometimes you're just a fair bit see-through...

But I think that soon enough, everyone will have had enough

Sometimes you just get sick of choices. When there's no one to tell you what to do you only have yourself to blame. And I'm sick of blaming me, I've had enough. Why can't people just be happy with the choices they've made, why do we keep dwelling?
So I figure, if there's no choices, you can't make the wrong decision, right? That's a theory at least. Then on the other hand, it simply boils down to me being scared of taking the blame for my own choices, scared of facing myself when I'm there alone in the end.
I hate the fact that I let you affect me so much, too much. That makes the whole thought of you turn sour. And this is not what I want, you are not what I want, but still, you are the only one that I want and the only one I've ever wanted. What ever you did to get in to my head, undo it cause I don't want you there anymore.